Where is My Son’s Home?
I am a 47 year old Syrian woman married to a Jordanian man, who is 58. I obtained a degree in economics from the University of Baghdad, and work as a civil society activist. My husband has a master’s degree in agro-economics.
We have been married for 26 years and have two children. My oldest son is 24 and graduated as a dentist from the University of Aleppo. The younger one is 22. He graduated with a sociology degree from the University of Damascus and is currently studying in the United States. Our economic situation is good. We depend on my husband’s income and on my annuities.
These are the circumstances of our marriage: My father was the head of the FAO in Baghdad and I used to study at the University of Baghdad. I met my husband during a one-month training course that I took within the Department where he used to work. We got to know each other and decided to get engaged.
My mother opposed the marriage fearing I might live in Jordan, far from her, but she eventually gave in to my stubborn determination. No one in the family suspected the problems we would face, given that my sister is married to a Sudanese man. So we got married and moved to Damascus, where my husband was transferred for his work with one of the United Nations missions.
We did not feel the weight of the situation at first, even when we discovered that my husband could not own property and we had to register the house in my name. This seemed okay to both of us.
Problems began to emerge when my husband retired from his office and started to work independently. My husband was unable to own property and had to conduct his business in my name. This made me bear responsibilities I could well do without. I had to sign contracts, deposit profits, and withdraw money for him. Despite these difficulties, it did not occur to us to leave Syria and return to Jordan where my parents-in-law live. My husband loved Damascus and my children were born and grew up there. My older son even refused to move from our neighborhood as he feels this is his hometown.
My children were treated like other Syrian students in terms of acceptance to schools and universities. The shock came when we discovered that my son could not join the Dentists Association in Syria after his graduation. This also denied him the right to work as membership is mandatory prior to employment. In addition, he could not remain in Syria for more than three consecutive months since upon graduation he no longer had a student card nor did he have a work permit. Now he has to leave Syria every three months, though this is where he belongs. This is where he was born and where all his memories of childhood and adolescence lie.
This situation led my younger son to pursue his studies in the United States. He wants to obtain residence and citizenship there, so that he will be able to live and work in the same country. My husband and I are against the idea. But what can we do?
I feel the danger of the situation now. If my husband or I fall sick and my son’s three-month residence permit expires during that time, he will be forced to leave me sick and go away. Had I known these obstacles, I would have never married a non-Syrian national.
I tried hard to find a solution that would enable my family to live a normal life, one that would not condemn my sons to discrimination, but to no avail. Children of Syrian mothers who were born and live in Syria must be granted the same rights as Syrian citizens with respect to residence, work and ownership. Syrian women must be allowed to pass on citizenship to their children.
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